I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
