As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize