Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
