she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
