Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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