They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
