he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
