He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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