My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
