After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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