her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
