Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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