is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.