he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror