Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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