I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I supernannyed him into submission
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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