break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
