So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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