I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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