sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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