I CAN MOONWALK!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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