I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
These tits shall not be calmed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
