I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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