Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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