just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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