Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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