Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
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I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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