sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
