tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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