Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
