at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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