So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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