oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
