elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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