If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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