the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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