this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You ruined the universe
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize