windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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