Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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