My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
