She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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