I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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