I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize