We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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