Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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