also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
