Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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