we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
