she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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