seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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