There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
