1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
