my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
