I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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