Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
