I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
