Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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