i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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