I bet he comes in French.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
