is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
